The Ballerina's Secret Page 11

  “Maybe it’s time for her to hire another teacher.”

  “She’s not ready.” Hiring someone new would mean Tessa was leaving the school for good. Emily Wilde wasn’t ready for that. For all Tessa’s bravado, she wasn’t sure she was ready for it either.

  Opening night was in just two weeks. What if she wasn’t ready? What if she failed spectacularly?

  She was growing more accustomed to living in a world with sound again. It was making her a better dancer. She could feel the music now, flowing through her from head to toe. But the onslaught of noise still made her head spin. At the end of every day, she fell into bed and closed her eyes, grateful for a long stretch of silence.

  “That’s between the two of you, I suppose. But since you’re spending so much time at rehearsal...” Zander shot her a grin. A grin of the charming variety, which meant he was about to bring up Julian again. “Perhaps you could speak to the elusive Mr. Shine on my behalf.”

  Bingo.

  Tessa shook her head. “No.”

  “No?” Zander was so unfamiliar with the word that his eyebrows rose at least three notches.

  “No,” she repeated, tapping two fingertips against her thumb in the sign language translation for added emphasis.

  Of all the things she might say to Julian, asking him to call her brother was nowhere on the list.

  But Zander wasn’t going to go down without a fight. “Why not?”

  “For starters, I hardly know him.” She swallowed.

  It was blatantly untrue. The way he’d touched her proved otherwise. There was a rightness to the way his hands felt on her body...as if she’d been waiting for him all her life. Tessa knew how crazy that sounded. As much as she wanted to forget the pull she felt every time they were in the same room together, she couldn’t.

  Physical attraction aside, in the short time they’d been acquainted, Tessa felt like Julian knew her better than anyone else. Other than Dr. Spencer, he was the only one who knew that her hearing was beginning to come back, and she hadn’t even had to tell him. He just knew.

  He saw her, and despite his every effort to the contrary, she saw him, too.

  And she knew him well enough to know that there was a reason he wasn’t returning her brother’s calls. “Julian doesn’t want to play. I don’t know what I could possibly say that would change that.”

  “I can think of a few things you could say.” Zander’s smile took on a decidedly sardonic quality.

  Tessa’s face went warm. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that I’ve seen the way he looks at you. And I’ve seen the way you look at him. There’s something going on between you two.”

  Something had happened. Past tense. And it had been a very big mistake. “You’re imagining things.”

  “Deny it all you want, but the sparks flying between you and Julian Shine can be seen from outer space.”

  “I have the lead role in a ballet to prepare for. I’ve been fighting for this since I was a little girl. I can’t afford a distraction right now. Besides, I just—” her throat grew thick “—can’t.”

  “Look, I know what Owen said to you. He’s an idiot. There’s nothing broken about you, Tessa. There never has been. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

  Just the way I am.

  How am I?

  She didn’t know anymore. She wasn’t part of the hearing world, yet she was no longer deaf either. She was somewhere in between. The strangeness of it left her feeling more lost, more broken than ever.

  Even more broken than when Owen had called things off with her just four short weeks after her accident. They’d been dating for almost a year before she fell. Things had been serious. But after she lost her hearing, he hadn’t lasted a month.

  I don’t feel connected to you. It’s too hard to communicate. Maybe if the doctors thought they could fix you...

  They’d been the most devastating words anyone had ever said to her. She’d wanted to scream.

  I’m not broken. I’m still me.

  But she’d choked on the words. She hadn’t been able to get them out, probably because she’d been terrified they weren’t true.

  “Thanks, but I’m fine. Really.” She forced her lips into a smile, even though she suddenly felt more like crying.

  “Yes, you mentioned that,” Zander said, making it clear he didn’t believe her. “So, you’ll talk to Julian?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Nice try. I never agreed to do anything of the sort.”

  “Just invite him to Big Band Night. That’s all I ask. Once he sees what a spectacular show we put on at the Bennington, I think he’ll be open to performing.” Zander Wilde, always the optimist. Especially when it came to getting something he wanted.

  Tessa wholeheartedly doubted he would in this instance. “You already invited Julian, and as I recall, he declined.”

  “He might reconsider, seeing as it’s tomorrow night.” Zander cleared his throat. “And you’ll be there.”

  Of course she’d be there. Big Band Night was special. It was her brother’s baby and had made the Bennington one of the hottest spots in New York again.

  Tessa would be lying to herself if she tried to pretend that the idea of seeing Julian outside the ballet studio didn’t send a forbidden thrill to parts of her body she’d been determined to ignore since...

  “You’re wrong. I assure you,” she said flatly.

  “There’s no harm in asking. Just do me this one favor, and I promise I’ll never mention his name to you again. Deal?” Zander extended his hand, offering to shake on it.

  The dance-school door opened, and two of the students from Tessa’s morning ballet class drifted inside, along with a swirl of colorful fall leaves. She was running out of time to protest, plus her pumpkin latte was growing cold.

  Tessa sighed. She could always lie and tell Zander she’d talked to Julian. He’d never know the truth.

  Except he probably would. Knowing Zander, he’d take one look at her and know she’d chickened out. He had an annoying way of seeing right through her when it came to matters of the heart.

  I’ve seen the way you look at him. There’s something going on between you two.

  Her poker face needed work in a major way.

  The door opened again, announcing the arrival of another student. Half the class was there now, peeling off coats and pulling on leg warmers and soft pink ballet slippers.

  “Fine, I’ll ask him,” she blurted. What am I doing?

  Zander grinned from ear to ear as she shook his hand. “Thanks, sis.”

  A series of images floated through Tessa’s head. Images she forbade herself from paying any attention to whatsoever. Julian standing beneath the Bennington ballroom’s belle epoque–style ceiling, with its tiny glittering stars shining on an indigo background. Julian taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor.

  Julian’s soulful blue eyes, fixated on her mouth as he said those words again. The words she still seemed to hear every time she closed her eyes.

  Kiss me, Tessa.

  “Don’t hold your breath,” she said. “The answer is going to be no.”

  It wasn’t until after Zander left and Tessa was midway through barre with her adult beginner students that she wondered if she’d been issuing that sage piece of advice to her brother or to herself.

  * * *

  Julian paused at the threshold of the big rehearsal studio. Morning barre was set to begin in less than ten minutes. Most of the dancers were on the floor, bending themselves into impossible positions, readying themselves for class. A few of the ballerinas sat in a circle in the center of the room, sewing ribbons onto pointe shoes.

  Tessa, however, was doing neither of those things. For some reason, she was perched on the piano bench. Waiting.

  Julian’s body went instantly
into civil-war mode. His jaw clenched with resistance, but as usual, the sight of her threatened to bring him to his knees. They’d been tiptoeing around one another for the better part of a week. Julian had done his best to slip in and out of the building without ever allowing for a second alone with her.

  He couldn’t trust himself. That much was obvious.

  But he couldn’t just stand in the doorway all day. Besides, he wasn’t likely to pin her against the wall and kiss her again in front of the entire ballet company.

  Probably not, anyway.

  He gritted his teeth and headed straight toward her.

  This should be interesting.

  “Good morning.” He dropped his messenger bag onto the floor and waited for her to get up.

  She didn’t. She stayed right where she was. Julian had no choice but to slide onto the piano bench beside her, where he was immediately enveloped by her scent—heady and floral, with a slightly fruity undertone. Like a bite of shiny red apple.

  “Morning.” She shot him a nervous smile.

  Her hair was already swept into a tight ballerina bun. Julian was so close to her that he could see the bobby pins holding her auburn waves in place. The memory of his hands in her hair hit him hard and fast...pins falling to the floor. Rich red tresses sliding through his fingers, as soft as silk.

  He averted his gaze.

  Tessa cleared her throat. “I need to ask you something.”

  “Are we ever going to talk about the fact that you can hear?” He glanced back up at her.

  Her eyes grew wide. “Um...”

  She glanced over Julian’s shoulder, toward Ivanov and Daria conferring at the front of the room.

  “I’m not going to tell anyone. But I’m definitely curious.” He lifted a brow. “Can you blame me?”

  She blinked. “Yes. I mean no... I mean, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  He narrowed his gaze. “Does anyone else know?”

  “You’re impossible. We’re not talking about this right now.” Her gaze flitted to his scar for the briefest of moments. “But to answer your question, no. No one else knows. Just you. Are you happy now?”

  He was, actually. She’d overheard his secret, and he knew one about her. It seemed fitting. “What did you need to ask me?”

  “I promised my brother I’d pass along his invitation to Big Band Night at the Bennington.” Her gaze flitted to the sheet music on the piano, and then to the smooth wood floor. She seemed to be looking at anything and everything other than him. “He mentioned it to you last week.”

  Julian nodded. “I remember.”

  He remembered everything about that night, from the glittering sign that spelled out the name of The Circle Club to Tessa’s buttercup-yellow dress. Perhaps most of all, he remembered the surge of relief that flowed through him when he learned that Zander was her brother and not her date.

  Tessa stared at him for a beat and waited for him to say more. When he didn’t, she nodded, and her bow-shaped lips curved into a smile that was too wide, too animated. “Right. I told him you wouldn’t accept, obviously. But I promised I’d pass along the message, so...”

  A knot formed in Julian’s chest. Don’t say yes. Don’t do it. “If you’d rather I didn’t go...”

  Tessa shook her head. “That’s not what I said.”

  “I see. So you’d like me to be there.” He winked.

  He was flirting with her now. Perfect.

  He’d been right about trusting himself.

  “I already told you that you’re impossible, but it bears repeating.” She laughed and gave his shoulder a little bump with hers. “You’re impossible.”

  The knot in Julian’s chest tightened, making it difficult to breathe.

  He’d made her laugh. After everything he’d done wrong, she was sitting beside him. Laughing and flirting back.

  He knew with absolute certainty that showing up at the Bennington was a bad idea. Having a conversation with her was one thing. Interacting with her family was another matter entirely.

  Her brother would ask him to play the piano. Julian was rusty when it came to socializing, but he wasn’t an idiot. Zander hadn’t enlisted Tessa’s help because he was interested in Julian’s sparkling conversational skills. He was after a very specific thing.

  Music.

  Zander wanted the legendary Julian Shine to open his new jazz club. The poor bastard didn’t seem to realize that that person no longer existed.

  “All right, everyone. Take your positions at the barre. It’s time for class to begin.” Daria cast a purposeful glance at Tessa.

  “I should go,” Tessa said. But she remained seated beside him, with her slender thigh—barely visible through her pale pink tights—pressed alongside his.

  He longed to touch her again. Really touch her.

  Every time he came close to believing it could happen again, he remembered the look on her face when she’d heard Chance mention his burns. He didn’t want to see that look again. If she ever saw him undress—if the dream of lying naked beside her, skin to skin, ever became a reality—he would.

  Julian wouldn’t be able to bear it. Not from her.

  He wanted Tessa’s kiss, her touch, her surrender. He wanted her light.

  Not her pity.

  “I’ll do it,” he heard himself say.

  No. No, you won’t.

  But it was too late. Tessa was already beaming at him as if he’d hung the moon.

  Julian could almost breathe again. “Tell Zander I’ll be there.”

  Chapter Eleven

  On the third Sunday of every month, the Palm Room at the Bennington Hotel changed from an ordinary, yet opulent, hotel ballroom into a glittering, 1940s-era wonderland. The transformation was staggering.

  A bandstand was set up at the far end of the room, where musicians played tunes by Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman, while couples danced the night away beneath a massive crystal chandelier. Large round tables covered in swaths of ruby-red velvet ringed the perimeter of the ballroom. Each table boasted a centerpiece of plumed ostrich feathers and drapes of sparkling teardrop crystals.

  It was really quite breathtaking. Tessa always half expected to see Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman out on the dance floor. Not tonight, though.

  Tonight, she kept glancing at the ballroom entrance in hopes of seeing a certain cranky piano player. She couldn’t even manage to sit still at the Wilde family table. Instead, she stood beside Zander near the bar, where he’d planted himself in anticipation of Julian’s arrival.

  “You’re sure he said he was coming?” Zander plucked two glasses of champagne from a nearby tray and handed one of them to Tessa.

  She rarely drank alcohol since she was usually preparing for an audition. She probably shouldn’t indulge now either since opening night was just a week away. But she needed something to focus on besides Julian’s absence.

  Tessa took a tentative sip. The fizzy drink tickled her nose. “I’m absolutely sure. He’s probably running late.” Or maybe he changed his mind.

  She highly suspected the latter. It was almost ten o’clock, and the band—a full jazz ensemble, complete with a rhythm section and a whole row of shiny gold trumpets, saxophones and trombones—was already into its second set.

  He’s not coming. She took a larger swallow of champagne. It was a nice, albeit somewhat dangerous, distraction.

  What difference did it make whether Julian showed up or not? He’d only agreed in order to appease her in the moment and end their uncomfortable conversation. He’d probably never had any intention of actually coming at all.

  How could she have been foolish enough to believe he’d actually show?

  She’d even bought a new dress—a sleeveless, floor-length satin number with a beaded, cinched waist and wide padded shoulders. Daffodil yello
w. When she’d spun through the revolving door of the Bennington and caught a glimpse of herself in the shimmering gold elevator doors, she’d felt like Rita Hayworth reincarnated. Now she just felt ridiculous.

  This wasn’t a date. It never had been.

  She lifted her champagne saucer to take another sip, but the glass was empty. Tessa frowned. How had that happened?

  “Thirsty?” Zander lifted a sardonic brow. “You’re in rare form tonight, sis. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re looking forward to Mr. Shine’s arrival more than I am.”

  “You couldn’t be more wrong.” She rolled her eyes, but her heart began to pound hard in her chest.

  “Note taken.” He seemed to be stifling a grin. “Would you like another glass of champagne?”

  Absolutely not. “Yes, please.”

  Zander exchanged her empty glass for a full one.

  She couldn’t drink too much. She normally didn’t indulge at all when she had a performance to think about.

  Of course she normally didn’t have an affair with the rehearsal pianist either.

  She choked on a sip of bubbly. It’s not an affair.

  Far from it. If she were smart, she’d forget about him altogether. Julian obviously had some major issues.

  Then again, so did she.

  “Look who’s finally here.” Zander gestured toward the ballroom’s entrance. “It’s your boyfriend. I suppose that beautiful new gown you’re wearing wasn’t a waste after all.”

  If Tessa had been able to move, she would have punched her brother in the arm. Julian wasn’t her boyfriend. She might be Zander’s younger sister, but she wasn’t a child. She was a woman. If anything, Julian was some strange combination of her lover and a total stranger.

  And since when did Zander notice her clothes?

  But Tessa couldn’t punch Zander, because when her gaze landed on Julian, she froze. She was lucky she managed to maintain a grip on her champagne glass.

  Julian stood beneath the gilded arch at the entrance to the ballroom, looking distinctly uncomfortable. At least Tessa thought it was Julian. Aside from his trademark glower, he resembled a completely different person.